For Younger Brides, Check Your Bank Account First

Couples with a larger age gap also tend to have husbands with higher incomes.

Sunoo CEO James Lee

This is the second in a series of columns by James Lee, CEO of matchmaking firm Sunoo (www.couple.net), about various aspects of marriage on the basis of their 20 years in business. ― ED.

Couples with a larger age gap also tend to have husbands with higher incomes.

Men still have an illusion regarding marrying much younger women. Despite the passing of time, men still wish to marry much younger members of the opposite sex.

Yet, the big age gap can often lead to problems.

We conducted a research study to examine married couples' age difference and their income. Based on the data, the larger the age gap between the spouses, the larger the husband's income compared to the wife's.

For couples that had an age gap of five years or less, the two spouses had an average of $10,000 difference in their income.

On the other hand, couples with an age gap between six and seven years have an income difference of $30,000 to $40,000.

One probable reason for the large discrepancy in income between the spouses in these subject groups is the husband's longer career.

With age and time, people usually increase their income level, but another interpretation of this data is that the husbands were trying to compensate for their young brides' lack of financial independence.

A large age gap between spouses poses some challenges

I remember an incident that happened ten years ago. A match consultant suddenly quit her position in the company. I found out later that she resigned due to her involvement with a member.

She dumped her boyfriend that was the same age as her for a businessman ten years her senior. I am not certain of the details of the relationship; however, I assume that the large age gap was overcome by his financial stability.

A couple's age gap and the amount of problems in the marriage are positively correlated. There are some unique issues for married couples with a large age gap. Generally for men, marriage comes with numerous financial burdens; if the bride is much younger than the husband, then the financial burden increases.

According to a 2009 research study on the cost of getting married, newlyweds spent an average of $130,000 on their homes, and 90% of the couples stated that the men covered the expense. Despite all of these financial issues, what concerns me most regarding couples with a large age gap is their life and compatibility together.

Young wives tend to be more dependent on their husbands in various ways and require more attention and care. Also, while the husband is aging, the wife likely is only now maturing and this may cause some emotional as well as sexual disparities. The husband and wife are at different life stages and consequently are likely to have different priorities. These marriages require more compromise and adjustment.

You can date younger women; however, it is best to marry someone close to your age. A smaller age gap between spouses denotes a smaller difference in income; this is due to the economic activity of the wives.

So for men, this indicates a decrease in their financial burden if he gives up his desire to marry a much younger woman. I know of a man that was engaged to a much younger woman, but broke off the engagement due to the immense financial pressure of the wedding and marriage. He then met and married a woman similar in age with him.

It is advisable to marry someone who is relatively close in age because it is likely that you will be able to relate to each other better.

If a person is much older or younger than you, you may be at completely different developmental stages. To be happy one must be able to maintain and sustain a marriage.

To achieve this happiness, I recommend starting off by dating someone similar in age. Amidst our society's obsession with youth and fear of aging, it is a natural trend for men to be attracted to and want to marry younger women.

They may falsely believe that it will improve other people's image and view of them. Another important reason that men may prefer marrying younger women is for their superior childbearing capacity.

However, due to advances in the medical field, age is not as big a factor as it used to be when conceiving and giving birth.

Both men and women need to carefully consider their underlying motivations and real intentions about marrying someone older or younger.

Couple.net affiliate Marriage and Relationship R&D Division conducted a research study using 3,421 couples that were married in the past ten years. The couples were divided into eight groups according to the age difference between husband and wife (0 to 7 years).

The income differences between the spouses were recorded for each group. On average, husbands made $16,240 more than their wives. Couples that were less than four years apart had an income difference close to the general average. The average income difference for same age couples was $11,510, $13,250 for couples with a 3-year age gap, and $19,720 for couples with a 5-year age gap.

Couples with an age gap of less than six years averaged about $10,000 difference in income whereas couples with a 6-year age gap had an income difference of about $36,010 and couples with a 7-year age gap had an average of a $40,050 difference.

The continuous increase in income difference as the age gap increases between the couples is readily visible. When comparing the annual income difference between couples with an age gap of five or six years the number nearly doubles.

Couples with a 7-year age gap have an income difference of almost 3.5 times that of same-age couples. Also, the average income difference for couples with a 0-1 year age gap was $11,000, $13,000 for a 2-3 year age gap, $15,000 for a 4-year age gap and $19,000 for a 5-year age gap. This illustrates that there is still a slight increase each year in the income gap for couples with a 0-5 year age gap.