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Wed, December 6, 2023 | 07:26
Dear Abby
DEAR ABBYBoyfriend in no hurry to walk down the aisle
[디어 애비] 결혼을 서두르지 않는 남자친구
Posted : 2023-08-24 14:59
Updated : 2023-08-24 14:59
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[디어 애비로 배우는 생생 영어]

DEAR ABBY: I'm 44, and I have been dating a wonderful man for the last year and a half.
애비 선생님께: 저는 44살이고 지난 1년 반 동안 아주 멋진 남성과 교제했습니다.


He's 44 as well.
남자친구 역시 44살입니다.


He has a nice home and job and has 50/50 custody of his three children, who adore me.
남자친구의 집과 직업은 근사하며 세 자녀에 대해 절반의 양육권을 가지고 있는데, 아이들은 저를 아주 좋아합니다.


I'm good to them, and we all get along well, just like a family.
저 역시 아이들에게 잘하며, 저희는 가족처럼 잘 지냅니다.


The problem is, he goes back and forth about marriage.
문제는 남자친구가 결혼에 대해 우물쭈물한다는 겁니다.


I have made it clear that, although I have no desire to pressure him, I do want to be married again one day.
부담을 줄 생각은 없지만 저는 언젠가 다시 결혼하고 싶다고 남자친구에게 분명히 말했습니다.


I said I'd rather be let go than led on.
저는 어장 속에 물고기가 되느니 방류되겠다고 말했습니다.


He said he isn't sure, and some days he says he may never remarry.
남자친구는 확신이 서지 않는다며 앞으로 재혼은 안 할 것 같다고 말할 때도 있습니다.


The last time we talked about it, he said it's a "possibility," but he didn't want to be pressured — it has to be his idea.
마지막으로 이 문제에 대해 얘기했을 때 남자친구는 결혼 "가능성"이 있다고 했지만 재촉 받고 싶지 않다며 본인이 스스로 결정할 문제라고 말했습니다.


How long should I wait until I say enough is enough?
할 만큼 했다고 하기까지 저는 얼마나 더 기다려야 하죠?


I'm not getting any younger.
시간은 계속 흐르니까요.


— FIXED ON MARRIAGE
— 결혼을 결심한 독자


DEAR FIXED: When was the last time you had this discussion?
결심한 독자분께: 독자분이 남자친구와 결혼 얘기를 마지막으로 한 게 언제인가요?


You have described a man who is comfortable with things just the way they are.
독자분의 남자친구는 지금 이대로도 편하게 살고 있는 남성입니다.


A year and a half is a reasonable amount of time to decide whether a relationship is serious enough to lead to something more.
1년 반은 관계가 더 이상 진전될 만큼 진지한지 결정하기에 충분한 시간입니다.


Give him six more months, during which you do not mention the word "marriage."
남자친구에게 시간을 6개월 더 주시고, 그 동안은 "결혼"이라는 말을 꺼내지 마세요.


By then, you will have invested two years.
그러면 독자분은 2년을 투자한 게 되겠죠.


After that, ask if he has made up his mind about the two of you being married, and if his answer is anything less than yes, move on.
그리고 나서 남자친구에게 결혼에 대해 마음을 굳혔냐고 물어보시고, 만약 "그렇다" 이외에 다른 대답이 돌아온다면, 미련을 버리세요.

KEY WORDS
■ custody 양육권
■ adore 아주 좋아하다
■ get along ~와 잘 지내다
■ back and forth 오락가락, 왔다갔다
■ pressure 압박감을 주다
■ let go 놓아버리다
■ lead on (좋아하지 않으면서 거짓으로) 유혹하다, 어장관리 하다
■ move on (전 연인과의) 미련을 버리다


Emailywjeon@ktimes.com Article ListMore articles by this reporter
 
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