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Sat, December 2, 2023 | 21:50
Dear Abby
DEAR ABBYMan's decisions in life are made to please others
[디어 애비] 삶의 결정을 타인을 위해 내리는 남자
Posted : 2023-07-20 17:13
Updated : 2023-07-20 17:13
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[디어 애비로 배우는 생생 영어]

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 54-year-old gay man who has spent his life making decisions with everyone else in mind.
애비 선생님께: 저는 54세 남성 동성애자로, 살면서 결정을 내릴 때 항상 다른 사람들을 고려합니다.


Every decision, life choice, relationship and career move has been based on how I'm perceived by friends and family.
모든 결정과 선택, 인간 관계 및 이직은 친구와 가족에게 어떻게 비춰질지를 기준으로 했습니다.


Currently, I'm living with my ex in my home.
현재, 제 소유의 집에서 전 남자친구와 함께 살고 있습니다.


I'd like to live alone, but I feel responsible for his security.
저는 혼자 살고 싶지만, 전 남자친구의 안전을 책임져야 할 것만 같습니다.


When I think about telling him I want to live separately, I feel like I'm letting him down.
따로 살고 싶다고 말하려고만 하면, 그를 실망시키는 것처럼 느껴집니다.


If I move, my family then has opinions on where I should live so I will stay in proximity to them.
이사를 가면, 가족들은 제가 본인들 근처 어디에 살아야 하는지에 의견을 제시합니다.


Also, we share dogs and I'm afraid if we split up the pack, I'm letting the dogs down.
또 저와 전 남자친구는 강아지를 함께 키우는데, 헤어지면 강아지들을 실망시킬까 봐 두렵습니다.


All of this pressure results in me doing nothing.
이 모든 압박감 때문에 결국 저는 아무것도 못합니다.


I have been drinking more to shut out the noise.
저는 외부 소음을 차단하기 위해 술을 더 많이 마십니다.


I have considered giving up alcohol, but that will also disappoint many in my family because they like to drink.
술을 끊으려고도 했지만, 그러면 술 마시기를 좋아하는 가족들을 실망시킬 것 같습니다.


Please help me!
도와주세요!


— GUILTY GUY IN MICHIGAN
— 죄책감을 느끼는 미시간 남성 독자


DEAR GUY: If ever I've heard from someone who is in need of counseling, it is you — so that you can get in touch with who YOU are and what YOU want.
남성 독자분께: 자신이 누군지, 또 무엇을 원하는지를 찾도록 상담이 필요한 누군가를 본 적이 있다면 바로 독자분입니다.


You have a right to do what makes you happy.
독자분은 행복하게 살 권리가 있습니다.


If there's an LGBTQ center near you, that would be the place to start.
근처에 성 소수자 센터가 있다면, 시작하기 좋은 장소가 될 겁니다.


If there isn't, get counseling wherever it's available.
만약 없다면 상담이 가능한 곳 어디든 가서 상담을 받아보세요.


If you want to quit drinking, just do it.
술을 끊고 싶다면, 그렇게 하세요.


If you are quiet about it, your family may not even notice.
조용히 술을 끊으면, 가족들은 눈치채지 못할지도 모릅니다.


It may help you to think more clearly.
금주를 통해 독자분의 생각이 더 명확해질 수도 있습니다.


The only thing you should NOT do is continue on the path you are on.
하지 말아야 할 단 하나의 일은 지금껏 걸어왔던 길을 계속 가는 겁니다.

KEY WORDS
■ with A in mind : A를 염두에 두고
■ be based on ~에 기초하다, 근거하다
■ perceive ~을 (~로) 여기다, 감지하다
■ security 안전, 무사
■ separately 따로따로,별도로
■ let someone down ~의 기대를 저버리다, ~를 실망시키다
■ in proximity to ~에 근접하여
■ split up 헤어지다
■ shut out 차단하다
■ disappoint 실망시키다
■ in need of ~가 필요하다
■ get in touch with ~와 연락하다, 접촉하다
■ LGBTQ 성 소수자(lesbian(여성 동성애자), gay(남성 동성애자), bisexual(양성애자), transgender(성전환자), queer(성 소수자 전반) 혹은 questioning(성 정체성에 관해 갈등하는 사람))


Emailywjeon@ktimes.com Article ListMore articles by this reporter
 
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