This is the fifth of a 20-part of Jangseogak series in collaboration with the Academy of Korean Studies. Jangseogak houses Joseon Kingdom's documents. — ED.
By Kim Hak-su
There is an old Korean saying that "If you arrange a good marriage, you are offered three cups of good liquor, but if not, you will get three slaps on the cheek." This reminds us about how careful a person should be when matchmaking.
Even in the old days, there were matchmakers called "meapa," but noblemen from distinguished families sought out prospective sons- or daughters-in-law by closely examining the credit and financial capacity of the counterpart's family and his or her qualifications based on reliable information shared amongst themselves.
Sometimes matchmaking broke up friendships. Such an episode occurred during King Seonjo's reign. One day, Jeong Cheol visited his close friend, Lee San-hae and asked to look for a groom for his daughter. It seems that Jeong Cheol who had a deep affection for his youngest daughter had high expectations of the prospective son-in-law. Without hesitation, Lee San-hae recommended a scholar by the name of Oh Yoon-gyum. A few days later, the two persons met again and disappointment was writ large on Jeong Cheol's face.
In short, the story goes like this. After receiving Lee San-hae's recommendation, Jeong Cheol ran all the way to see Oh Yoon-gyum. It was a kind of an interview.
However, in Jeong Cheol's eyes, Oh Yoon-gyum was a mere humble scholar, appearing sallow and weak. Needless to say, Jeong felt disappointed, and such disappointment turned into indignation.
Because Lee San-hae took Lee Deok-hyung as his son-in-law, the man who would later go on to became the prime minister, Jeong Cheol was really displeased. Angered, Jeong Cheol exploded: "How could you suggest such a feeble scholar after you secured a groom like Lee Deok-hyung?" and then ended the friendship.
What started out with good intentions ended badly. However, Jeong Cheol's judgment was hasty because Oh Yoon-gyum later ascended to become a prime minister while Lim Seo-bang, the son-in-law he chose, would later assume governorship of a province.
The Jangseogak Archives, a repository of noble literature and materials from the Joseon Kingdom, have incalculable papers on such stories. Let's talk about the matchmaking stories of the ancients based on the antique documents donated by the family head of the house of the Seogye Bannam Bak family.
Myungjae Yun Jeung (1629-1714) who is famous for receiving honors from ministers, and Seogye Park Se-dang who was a great scholar in the 17th century, were both born in 1692. They were good friends who shared academic and political views.
Since Yun Jeung's older sister was Park Se-dang's sister-in-law, the two families visited each other often. Their families were so close that people called them brothers.
One day in 1696 (in the 22nd year of King Sukjong's reign), Park Se-dang received a letter from Yun Jeung.
The letter was a so-called matchmaking letter introducing a woman for his grandson. Correspondence was an everyday affair between the two but this kind of letter was unusual.
The woman whom Yun Jeung introduced was the daughter of Han Young-gi, a scholar from Chungcheong Province. The interesting thing is how the woman was introduced.
These days, the main concern for a future partner is often personal information such as what school he or she graduated from, career and appearance but the information of the woman that Yun Jeung mentioned in his letter was mainly about her family background.
Yun Jeung said that she was praised for her beauty and virtue. Her family information was written in detail instead of her personal information. According to Yun Jeung's letter, Han Young-gi was the son of Yeo Woo who used to be a governor and his grandfather served as vice minister.
Moreover, Yun Jeung emphasized that he could guarantee her privileged family background as Han Young-gi was a son-in-law of Yun Jeung's second cousin. Yun Jeung believed that a women raised by such a family should be no doubt wise and virtuous and highly advised his friend to take her as his grand daughter-in-law unless he had someone else in mind.
But unfortunately, Park Se-dang was impatient to have his grandson marry someone and have asked many people for a bride. By the time the letter arrived, Park Se-dang already had his grandson engaged to the daughter of Shin Su-hwa by someone else's arrangement. Although Park Se-dang also felt regret, there was no way he could take the engagement back since he tended to value faith above life.
On Dec. 21, 1696, Park Se-dang sent a letter to Yun Jeung. In the letter, he wrote about how he appreciated Yun Jeung's kindness and concern about his grandson's marriage. Also, he expressed his regret for receiving his letter too late. It was a letter with Park Se-dang's sincerity that could warm the heart of the reader.
A person's pedigree and family background were as important as personal qualifications in noblemen's society at that time and this is surely reflected in the marriage culture.
Some people may have a critical understanding of this kind of marriage culture that follows the will of the parents or family but the truth is that free love or marriage for love was almost impossible in a society that restricted women's social activities.
Our ancestors weighed in the family background because they believed that understanding the other's environment and educational background would ensure that the two would happily grow old together.
Thus, when arranging marriages for their children, parents wanted to choose whom they were well aware of. Also, they wished to take a daughter- or son-in-law who would fit in with their family.
Today, such a letter introducing a woman may put our generation to shame as the old saying that marriage is the promise for eternal love sounds absurd these days.
The writer is director of the Center for the Korean Studies Materials, Jangseogak Archives of the Academy of Korean Studies.
.jpg/dims/resize/740/optimize) |
.jpg) |
| Park Se-dang's portrait owned by Jangseogak Archives |
There is an old Korean saying that "If you arrange a good marriage, you are offered three cups of good liquor, but if not, you will get three slaps on the cheek." This reminds us about how careful a person should be when matchmaking.
Even in the old days, there were matchmakers called "meapa," but noblemen from distinguished families sought out prospective sons- or daughters-in-law by closely examining the credit and financial capacity of the counterpart's family and his or her qualifications based on reliable information shared amongst themselves.
Sometimes matchmaking broke up friendships. Such an episode occurred during King Seonjo's reign. One day, Jeong Cheol visited his close friend, Lee San-hae and asked to look for a groom for his daughter. It seems that Jeong Cheol who had a deep affection for his youngest daughter had high expectations of the prospective son-in-law. Without hesitation, Lee San-hae recommended a scholar by the name of Oh Yoon-gyum. A few days later, the two persons met again and disappointment was writ large on Jeong Cheol's face.
In short, the story goes like this. After receiving Lee San-hae's recommendation, Jeong Cheol ran all the way to see Oh Yoon-gyum. It was a kind of an interview.
However, in Jeong Cheol's eyes, Oh Yoon-gyum was a mere humble scholar, appearing sallow and weak. Needless to say, Jeong felt disappointed, and such disappointment turned into indignation.
Because Lee San-hae took Lee Deok-hyung as his son-in-law, the man who would later go on to became the prime minister, Jeong Cheol was really displeased. Angered, Jeong Cheol exploded: "How could you suggest such a feeble scholar after you secured a groom like Lee Deok-hyung?" and then ended the friendship.
.jpg) |
| Yun Jeung's letter |
What started out with good intentions ended badly. However, Jeong Cheol's judgment was hasty because Oh Yoon-gyum later ascended to become a prime minister while Lim Seo-bang, the son-in-law he chose, would later assume governorship of a province.
The Jangseogak Archives, a repository of noble literature and materials from the Joseon Kingdom, have incalculable papers on such stories. Let's talk about the matchmaking stories of the ancients based on the antique documents donated by the family head of the house of the Seogye Bannam Bak family.
Myungjae Yun Jeung (1629-1714) who is famous for receiving honors from ministers, and Seogye Park Se-dang who was a great scholar in the 17th century, were both born in 1692. They were good friends who shared academic and political views.
Since Yun Jeung's older sister was Park Se-dang's sister-in-law, the two families visited each other often. Their families were so close that people called them brothers.
One day in 1696 (in the 22nd year of King Sukjong's reign), Park Se-dang received a letter from Yun Jeung.
The letter was a so-called matchmaking letter introducing a woman for his grandson. Correspondence was an everyday affair between the two but this kind of letter was unusual.
The woman whom Yun Jeung introduced was the daughter of Han Young-gi, a scholar from Chungcheong Province. The interesting thing is how the woman was introduced.
These days, the main concern for a future partner is often personal information such as what school he or she graduated from, career and appearance but the information of the woman that Yun Jeung mentioned in his letter was mainly about her family background.
Yun Jeung said that she was praised for her beauty and virtue. Her family information was written in detail instead of her personal information. According to Yun Jeung's letter, Han Young-gi was the son of Yeo Woo who used to be a governor and his grandfather served as vice minister.
Moreover, Yun Jeung emphasized that he could guarantee her privileged family background as Han Young-gi was a son-in-law of Yun Jeung's second cousin. Yun Jeung believed that a women raised by such a family should be no doubt wise and virtuous and highly advised his friend to take her as his grand daughter-in-law unless he had someone else in mind.
But unfortunately, Park Se-dang was impatient to have his grandson marry someone and have asked many people for a bride. By the time the letter arrived, Park Se-dang already had his grandson engaged to the daughter of Shin Su-hwa by someone else's arrangement. Although Park Se-dang also felt regret, there was no way he could take the engagement back since he tended to value faith above life.
On Dec. 21, 1696, Park Se-dang sent a letter to Yun Jeung. In the letter, he wrote about how he appreciated Yun Jeung's kindness and concern about his grandson's marriage. Also, he expressed his regret for receiving his letter too late. It was a letter with Park Se-dang's sincerity that could warm the heart of the reader.
A person's pedigree and family background were as important as personal qualifications in noblemen's society at that time and this is surely reflected in the marriage culture.
Some people may have a critical understanding of this kind of marriage culture that follows the will of the parents or family but the truth is that free love or marriage for love was almost impossible in a society that restricted women's social activities.
Our ancestors weighed in the family background because they believed that understanding the other's environment and educational background would ensure that the two would happily grow old together.
Thus, when arranging marriages for their children, parents wanted to choose whom they were well aware of. Also, they wished to take a daughter- or son-in-law who would fit in with their family.
Today, such a letter introducing a woman may put our generation to shame as the old saying that marriage is the promise for eternal love sounds absurd these days.
The writer is director of the Center for the Korean Studies Materials, Jangseogak Archives of the Academy of Korean Studies.
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