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Fri, August 12, 2022 | 09:48
Dear Abby
[DEAR ABBY] Man sounds off about being quiet
[디어 애비] 말수가 적은 것에 대해 크게 불평하는 남성
Posted : 2019-10-08 21:06
Updated : 2019-11-08 21:07
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[디어애비로 배우는 네이티브 생생 영어]


DEAR ABBY: I am a woman in my late 20s dating my on-and-off-again boyfriend of five years.

애비 선생님께: 저는 남자 친구와 5년 동안 만나고 헤어지고를 반복하고 있는 20대 후반 여성입니다.



I dread the parties and family gatherings he brings me to.

저는 남자 친구가 데려가는 파티나 가족 모임이 너무 두려워요.



I'm polite and good at holding conversations, but generally quiet around his friends and family members I don't know well.

저는 예의 바르고 대화를 잘 이어나가지만, 남자 친구의 친구들이나 가족들 중 잘 모르는 사람들과 있을 때는 보통 말수가 적은 편이죠.


He jokingly puts me down at each event and says things like, "Why do I even bring you?" or, "Thanks for not doing or saying anything" (which isn't true).

남자 친구는 매번 저를 장난 삼아 깎아 내리며 "내가 너를 왜 데려왔을까?" 혹은 "아무 것도 안 하고 아무 말도 안 해줘서 고마워."라고 말합니다. (이건 사실이 아녜요.)



When I tell him afterward that I find his jibes offensive and suggest maybe he should date someone else who doesn't irritate him at social events, he either plays it off as "joking" or says, "Well, it's true."

나중에 제가 그의 비하 발언이 너무 공격적이고 아마 사교 행사에서 그를 성가시게 하지 않을 누군가를 만나는 게 낫겠다고 제안하면 그는 ‘농담'일 뿐이었다고 하거나 "글쎄, 사실이잖아"라고 말해요.


Any advice on how to handle this situation?

이 상황에 대처할 방법에 대해 조언을 해주실래요?




- QUIET ONE IN PENNSYLVANIA -
- 펜실베니아에서 조용한 독자 -


DEAR QUIET ONE: Humiliating someone isn't funny; it is cruel.

조용한 독자님께: 누군가에게 굴욕감을 주는 일은 재미있지 않습니다. 그건 잔인한 일이죠.


If the shoe were on the other foot, I'm sure your boyfriend wouldn't like to be on the receiving end.

만약 입장을 바꿔 생각해본다면 남자친구 분께서는 분명 당하는 쪽이 되고 싶어하지 않으실 겁니다.


If you have told him you don't like his jibes and want them stopped and yet he persists, handle it by re-evaluating your relationship and looking for someone who is more sensitive to hang out with.

독자분께서 남자 친구의 비하 발언을 좋아하지 않고 그만하길 바란다고 말씀하셨음에도 그가 계속 한다면, 관계를 재평가해보고 어울릴 만한 더 세심한 사람을 찾아보도록 하세요.


If the ridicule happens often, it may be a clue that you are really not compatible.

이런 조롱이 자주 일어난다면 두 분이 함께 할 수 없다는 증거일 수도 있어요.


KEY WORDS
■ on-and-off-again boyfriend 만나고 헤어지고를 반복한 남자친구
■dread 무서워하다, 두려워하다
■ hold conversations 회담을 하다
■ put someone down ~를 무시하다, 깎아내리다
■ afterward 그 후에
■ jibe 험담, 모욕적인 말
■ offensive 불쾌한, 공격적인
■ irritate 짜증나게 하다, 거슬리다
■ humiliate 굴욕감을 주다
■ the shoe is on the other foot 입장을 바꾸다, 상황이 역전되다
■ persist 계속되다
■ reevaluate 재평가하다, 다시고려하다
■ sensitive 세심한
■ hang out with ~와 시간을 보내다
■ ridicule 조롱
■ compatible 양립될 수 있는, 화합할 수 있는


"시사와 영어를 한 번에"
코리아타임스 한글판
Korea Times Weekly


 
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