![]() |
By Park Ji-won and Chung Hyun-chae
Housekeeper Lee Won-hee, 57, reminisced that when she was in her 20s she spent little money on her dates.
"During my time, teahouses, movie theaters and parks were pretty much the only places we could go for dates," she said. "Needing a lot of money for dating wasn't as much of an issue back then as it is now.
"It was natural among young people to have no money, hang out at a park with a lunch box, and eventually get married down the road. Women had fewer roles in society a few decades ago. In my time, a woman's duty was doing house chores and rearing the children, while a man's obligation is earning money and providing food and housing. Life was a lot more simple back then."
It was OK for young couples to spend time without much money a few decades ago. These days, people in their 20s and 30s in Korea feel this is some kind of myth. But why is this so hard to believe? Today's generation think they need a certain amount of money or a decent job to even go on a date.
Of course, money is necessary for survival. But why is today's youth so obsessed about having money just to go on a simple date?
Some people say today's young people are the generation with three no's _ no dating, no marriage and no job.
This is a sad portrayal of Korea today where many believe that love, let alone going on a date, is not possible without money.
Some statistics supports the three no's phenomenon.
According to a Korea Institute for Health and Social Affairs (KIHASA) report released on July 27, people in romantic relationships have distinct features _ they are aged 25-29, they have graduated from college, and they earn 25 million to 35 million won a year.
The institute surveyed about 1,500 single men and women aged 18-49, last November and December
The results show that people are considered to be in a relationship when society believes they are "stable" _ having a good job with money _ and their parents are proudly willing to introduce their son or daughter to others.
About 45.5 percent of men and 43.1 percent of women in their 20s, and 38.7 percent of men and 38 percent of women in their 30s and who are dating, feel their partner is marriage material.
The problem is that their income is likely to be the most important factor in even accepting a first date. As long as they earn money, they are more likely to be in a relationship.
About 43.2 percent of men and 52.8 percent of women whose annual salary ranges from 25 million won to 35 million had romantic relationships. But only 27.3 percent of men and 28.1 percent of women who earn less than 15 million won per year had a past relationship.
Nearly 70 percent of single men who have a regular income said they wanted a girlfriend.
Meanwhile, about half of the men without an income said they are unwilling to have a romantic relationship.
A male college student surnamed Kim, 24, intentionally had not had a girlfriend during the past year.
"I promised myself to improve and not date until I get a job even if I like someone," Kim said.
"At some point, I would regret investing in a girl who I don't truly love. Now I feel that loving someone is some sort of investment or the accumulation of mileage points in a supermarket so that it could be exchanged as cash at a future date," Kim explained.
He added that he felt sad that he thought it was necessary to avoid dating until earning money.
This way of thinking is not so different for women.
A college student surnamed Gu, 24, who lived in Seoul while at school, failed to get into one of the nation's big conglomerates last year.
Depressed, she decided to return to her hometown, Busan, to concentrate fully on her studies in the hope of landing a job. To do this, she disconnected with all her friends in Seoul.
She also broke up with her boyfriend.
"I have little time to enjoy dating before getting a career," Gu said.
For her, love is not as important as starting a career and earning money.
Other women agree with Gu.
"When I wanted to be alone with my boyfriend, I had to pay to find a private place," said Park Ji-min, 25, a job seeker.
"Because I was on a tight budget and was unemployed, I often became nervous whenever I had to spend money.
"Soon I became exhausted as I always worried about money and calculated the exact amount I spent rather than feeling happy when I saw my boyfriend.
"Because lack of money was stressing me out on each date, I finally told him I wanted to break up."
Experts point out that worrying about not having enough money and choosing to be single is probably contributing to the nation's falling birthrate.
"Given that romantic relationships depend on one's income and position today, it is crucial to create an environment where young people can eventually land a career and plan for the future," said KIHASA researcher Cho Sung-ho.
"Adopting this attitude of getting a job first will also contribute to increasing the birthrate, which is one of the world's lowest."