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For all moms and expecting moms, even money can't buy the best nanny. / AP-Yonhap |
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So it turns out, being pregnant and running after two little toddlers isn't an easy job. It can be done, but it is just very tough on mom and the babies, all three of them. It was time to find some help.
After parting with my previous nanny, who was with us for more than a year, I wanted to be on my own. Help is always great, but it's much more costly here than in Korea and, as a stay-at-home mom, sometimes you want some alone time with your little ones.
So after nearly three months of independence and a few meltdowns, I was back in the market in search of the right nanny.
I moved to an area with a large Korean population, which gave me a much bigger pool of candidates to choose from. One brief online ad posting had my phone ringing off the hook.
But as all moms know, we can have two dozen candidates and that still doesn't mean that one perfect fit is among them. It took a few days speaking to and screening every single person who showed interest in the job.
After a thorough process of elimination, I was finally able to narrow down the list to the final two — interestingly, two very different people.
One was in her early 40s and the other one was nearing her 70s. A 30-year age difference right there.
At first, I thought the younger candidate would be better for all of us. Being younger meant more energy and, yes, energy is what we need around my house. That's something the twins have a whole lot of.
But after a face-to-face interview, I realized that being younger also means she, too, has a hectic life of her own, just like me. Two young children, house chores and all that good stuff.
I didn't know if there was any room for my little ones.
And then a totally different story for the older "grandmother," as she wanted to be called.
She already raised three children of her own and three grandchildren, retired from her business and was just enjoying a life of leisure with her husband. She couldn't stress enough how much she missed being around babies.
Right then, I knew my twin girls would get all the love and attention they need from this "grandmother."
I hate doing this, but here I go — I was so right.
Starting from the very first encounter, she showed nothing but love and patience — even when the girls threw food all over the floor, even when the girls jump-landed on her.
And I found out later that her lifelong business was a Korean restaurant, where she also worked as the main chef. No wonder she was so eager to cook for the girls.
Did someone just hit the nanny jackpot?
It's only been a few days and I'm only getting a few hours of help, but so far, life has been better. Much better.
Having an extra hand means a little luxury for mom. When I say luxury here, I mean a 10-minute shower without the interruption of a toddler crying outside the bathroom door, a relatively peaceful meal without two eager babies trying to snatch away your food, and just things of that sort.
Now there are, of course, drawbacks.
Moms are never 100-percent satisfied at how another individual takes care of their baby.
I see things that I don't like. For example, being too overprotective is a pet peeve for me.
I want my kids to experience things, even if it means a scratch and bruise from time to time. They're also old enough to chew food, so I don't want everything cut up into tiny little pieces.
It's kind of frustrating when you're trying to co-work with someone who won't do things exactly the same as you. But then again, is it even possible to find someone who does things exactly the same?
Whenever I get annoyed at something, I'll fuss about it for a bit. But I always end up coming to the same conclusion — just focus on what's most important. If what the nanny does is purely out of love, let it be.
In today's world, there are so many wacky people out there that I should feel lucky that I found a normal, loving person.
For all moms and expecting moms out there, if you're planning to find a nanny, just know beforehand that even money can't buy the best nanny. A mediocre candidate may end up being the best match once you decide to let go the less important things.
But of course, for a mom, letting go is sometimes the toughest part.