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My throat has been itchy this whole week.
No, it's not a cold.
It's because I've had to raise my voice at my twins one too many times.
Up until six months ago, I would've never imagined my girls as who they are now and me as who I am now.
Ellen is usually spotted climbing random things ― dining table, bookcase, TV stand, refrigerator (yes, refrigerator) and pretty much any other furniture that has a flat surface on the top ― while Ann sprinkles water on the carpet with her water bottle, colors on walls and floors or cleans out clothing from drawers in different rooms.
And that's when I turn up the volume.
I usually give three warnings before I raise my voice, but when you're dealing with two super-active, high-energy toddlers, three warnings run out fast.
It seems like my girls sort of abruptly entered their current stage of rough play, so having to juggle between them and their baby sister Lauren, I didn't get a good chance to thoroughly read up on ideal parenting advice for disciplinary actions.
Hence, my quick solution has been time-outs for the past two weeks.
At first, I thought these stand alone interventions were helping to keep my toddlers' behavior under control.
The girls seemed to calm down in their corner and the simple mentioning of the word "time-out" effectively served as a threat.
But only after a few time-outs, I realized that we weren't getting anywhere.
Both Ellen and Ann seemed to resent mom and dad for being put into isolation and they failed to independently settle their upset emotions.
After belatedly studying what and how time-out should be practiced, I quickly learned that I was doing it all wrong.
Of course, time-out is a good non-violent alternative to spanking, but it was clear that this disciplinary tactic was just another form of hurting children.
Many experts say that time-outs make kids see themselves as bad people and don't help regulate their emotions.
Instead, they trigger power struggles between children and caregivers, and prevent kids from learning to deal with unpleasant feelings.
So if not time-out, then what?
Apparently, time-in is the new time-out.
Ah, another new parenting vocabulary.
What is it?
Time-in, as the word pretty much explains itself, is not time spent away from others but time spent together with a caregiver.
Instead of having children be left alone to regain control of emotions, they are accompanied by either mom, dad or whoever the supervising adult is.
It's now one of the most popular positive parenting strategies.
Here's a real life example of how time-ins work:
Your child gets frustrated with a toy that isn't working her way. She throws it across the room.
Instead of sending her straight to time-out, you go eye-to-eye with her and say something like, "This toy isn't working the way you want, huh? Why don't we go to our snuggle room and talk about it."
They say it's helpful to designate a cuddle corner or snuggle space where a child is invited to spend time and share their feelings.
The whole idea of time-in is not to punish a child, but to encourage him to open up and build a stronger trusting relationship with his caregiver.
It's supposed to prevent misbehaviors and temper tantrums from recurring in the long run as kids are more likely to better handle extreme emotions.
All of this sounds very possible ― theoretically.
But how realistic is it?
Parenting professionals say any disciplinary method should be consistently executed for at least one month for accurate evaluation.
Honestly, I don't know if I will be able to have the patience to tend to either one of the twins when they're having one of their meltdowns.
I guess it's now time for mom to be put to the test.
One month later, we'll find out.
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