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Ellen, left, and Ann celebrate their second birthday with cakes and balloons at their home in Dallas, Texas. For the twin toddlers, every day is an adventure as the two welcome another year of friendship, surprises and excitement ahead of them. / Courtesy of Jane Han |
By Jane Han
Girls, what a year it's been for us.
I can't believe it's already been two years since I've been your mom and you've been my daughters.
After you two fall asleep at night, I often tell your dad that I can't remember how my life was before you girls came into this world.
That's how much your existence alone defines who I am now.
And seriously, I don't know what I could have possibly done with all that time and energy.
It feels like not long ago when I first held you ― Ellen and Ann ― in my arms at birth.
Both of you, so tiny and fragile back then, now climb me like I'm Mount Everest.
Over the past year, you grew so much.
You began talking, expressing your emotions, showing independence and started blooming into young ladies with the happiest smile I know.
I'm honestly surprised at how much a human being can grow in a span of just one short year.
Ellen, I almost feel like I can carry out a conversation with you now.
Ann, I know things take a bit longer for you, but that's cool.
I know you're trying to help mommy out by letting me deal with Ellen first.
Seeing how you girls bond in your own special way ― giggling, cuddling and rolling around together, feeding and chasing each other ― melts away my heart.
Those small everyday moments make being your mom the best job in the world.
What saddens me is that it's only been two years since you were born and I'm already having a hard time remembering your baby days.
And because I get caught up in the daily grind, I feel like I don't get to fully cherish all the cute little things you two constantly do.
Am I going to wake up one day when you girls are all grown and be sad that all your cute little baby days are gone?
Probably.
Yes, I admit I have my days when I want to be alone. Completely alone.
But on most days, I can't get enough of you both.
So give mommy more time to take in everything. Please don't grow up too fast.
I know things haven't been the same since your baby sister Lauren was born, but I have to say, you girls have been amazing big sisters so far.
Even now, seeing you two dancing and circling around Lauren, making her laugh and giggle, gives me the greatest joy in the world.
What did I do to deserve being a mom to three beautiful girls?
As we celebrate your second birthday, I wonder and imagine how much more you will grow and change over the next year.
I'm sure a whole lot more.
We'll certainly have more fun, but also bigger disagreements.
I'll have to learn that you two are independent individuals, and you'll have to learn that the world doesn't always work the way you want it to.
I know this is only a small part of a bigger process of maturing ― me as a better mom and you as a healthier and stronger child.
We have some big immediate homework waiting for us ― potty training, weaning off the pacifier, to name a few ― but let's try not to get those things get in the way of us enjoying the big picture.
But you girls don't need this reminder.
You two already live and enjoy every day to its fullest.
I can see that.
From morning to night, you live each day like an adventure.
You explore each corner of the house as if it's a new place every day.
I know I try to teach you new things all the time, but come to think of it, I have a lot to learn from you, my little girls.
Being happy and appreciative over life's smallest things, like a bowl of fresh-cut watermelon, seeing a puppy walk by or the clear blue sky, is something this 33-year-old mom can learn to do more of.
Ellen and Ann, you've opened up a whole new world for me.
You two kiss me goodnight and say thank you before bed each night, but today, it's my turn to say thank you.
Thank you for making me the proudest, luckiest and happiest mom in the world.
I love you. I love you. I love you.