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| At the end of the day, it is that all-consuming love we have for our children that makes parenting a challenge every day. / AP-Yonhap |
By Jane Han
So let's talk about this third baby.
I love babies. I've always dreamed of a family with three kids. And even amid the craziness of raising twin toddlers, I imagined and planned to have a third baby ― someday.
Yes, someday.
Never expected that day to be in 2014, when my girls are now just over a year old.
So when I saw the two pink stripes on the pregnancy test, I was pretty much, well, in a state of panic.
I was happy, but honestly, surprised and frightened all at once. Definitely a moment to remember.
It took a few days to overcome the initial shock, but now my husband and I can't be any more eager and excited as we wait for our third due in January.
About 12 weeks along now, I'm thankful that I survived the toughest first trimester, which, by the way, went by like a breeze compared to my first pregnancy. Morning sickness didn't go anywhere near last time and I'm just feeling physically well overall.
Thank God it's a singleton pregnancy.
The only difficulty I'm having is keeping up with my super energetic twins.
They just can't sit still. They're up and running around unless they're pinned down in their highchairs for mealtime. Even then, I have to continuously convince and threaten them to keep still.
There was a time when I told myself I'd be a calm, graceful and elegant mom. Clearly, I did not know myself back then or had no clue about the reality of parenting.
These days, as one person put it, I find myself waking up in the morning feeling like Mary Poppins and ending the day like Cruella De Vil.
I think most moms totally get what this means.
So when will things get better for me?
Well, I expect my energy level to go back up as I go further into my second trimester.
By then, of course, I'll have the big belly issue where my bulging tummy will sort of get in the way of everything. But I'm hoping that even my belly will only grow to half the size of my first pregnancy since there's only one baby. I don't know if that's how things work. We'll see.
As far as my girls go, they have no idea what's happening to mom.
I read that it's important to explain to the older siblings what to expect when mom is pregnant again. But after multiple attempts to establish a conversation with my 13-month-olds, I figured they're just too young to understand the concept of pregnancy.
I mean, it was only yesterday when I found the two splashing around water in the toilet bowl so I really need to stop overestimating these little ones. They're still babies.
So for them, they will know when the youngest comes and enters their turf.
No preview, no preparing ― just bam ― one day another baby in the house. Can't wait to see their reaction.
Even as I write this column, it's hard to believe that there's another baby on the way.
I am sure there will be tough moments as the pregnancy progresses and even more when the baby is born.
But I try to remind myself that this, right now, really is the most exciting time of my life. It's that once-in-a-lifetime period I get to grow my family.
Of course I have those days when the daily grind ― the feeding, diapering, cleaning up and endless other tedious tasks ― seems mundane and truly draining.
It's honestly hard to add excitement to changing 20 wet diapers a day. So it's my job to make the other aspects, like mealtime and playtime, more fun and creative.
Being a mom is demanding. Now I know why people say parenting is the world's toughest job.
Will things get any easier the second time around? It probably will in some ways, but then other issues will undoubtedly pop up.
The only way moms and dads can keep on going is because they're driven by love.
If it weren't for love, I'd let my girls sit and watch Pororo all day long to keep them quiet.
At the end of the day, it's that all-consuming love we have for our children that makes parenting a challenge every day. But that love is what gets us up in the morning.
We'll see what tomorrow brings. Another day for Mary Poppins, and hopefully, Cruella De Vil won't show up at night.
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