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Twins have their first birthday party in the United States last week. / Korea Times |
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This past weekend, my twin girls turned one.
As we get older, birthdays don't mean as much, but I think we can all agree that first birthdays are pretty darn special for both baby and parents.
It's a day to celebrate your baby's first year of life and — almost equally important — acknowledge parents for surviving the first 365 days of parenthood.
These days, first birthdays, or "dol" in Korea, have turned into such a full-fledged grandiose event in itself that some parties are fancy enough to compare to a wedding. Three-course meals, a big-screen video montage of baby's milestones, oversized three-tier cakes and all that other good stuff.
I don't know. Maybe if I was in Korea, I might have fallen for the temptation of throwing my girls a luxury birthday bash. Many of us, including myself, scrutinize fancy baby stuff, but I think we can admit that, secretly deep down inside, we all want some level of extravagance for our child.
Not sure if it's fortunate or unfortunate, but I wasn't in a situation to throw such a major party for my girls this time. Having freshly moved to a new city, we sadly had no friends and family to invite. What's a party without friends and family?
So after much thinking, my husband and I decided it'd be best to put together a traditional Korean birthday table, or "dol sang," at home and arrange a professional photo session to leave some good pictures for keepsake.
At the end of the day, we couldn't be any more satisfied with our decision. Minimum hassle, maximum output.
Party or no party, after all, what's most important is that the girls have grown happy and healthy for the past year.
From the first moment I held them till now, Baby A and B have changed and developed so much that now I have a whole new perspective of one year. It's truly amazing how much can happen in a single year.
They went from simply lying on their backs all day to flipping over, crawling and now walking. The two seemed to have zero awareness of each other just until a few months ago, but now they're playing together, snatching food away from each other and fighting over toys. It's clear that they're showing all kinds of human emotions from joy to jealousy.
The transformation happened so quickly, yet subtly that I didn't even get a chance to notice some of the transition.
Now, I see them and then I see myself.
They've developed and grown so much, but what about me? How did I spend my past year?
Yes, I raised the girls. But aside from the obvious, what else did I do?
It's not easy finding an answer to that question. Honestly, all I wanted for myself was nothing more than one night of good, uninterrupted sleep of just six hours. That's all. So that pretty much tells you the kind of life I have lived for the past 12 months.
But now I know that I can and should do so much — so much — in one year.
Witnessing a newborn that can barely keep her eyes open, grow to become a high-energy toddler allowed to me redefine the meaning of time.
I don't know how much and in what ways my girls will change in the coming year. It's probably not going to be as drastic as the first year growth and I'm probably going to face a whole lot of unexpected. But one thing I know for sure is that I need to consciously remind myself not to let moments slip by.
Everyday moments — babies shaking their tiny bodies to music and giggling at peek-a-boo — can't be repeated the same once the little ones grow in a few weeks. Or who knows? It might be days.
Elders often tell me that I should know I'm living the happiest days of my life now. They tell me time and time again that these early years of parenthood go by way too fast.
They're probably right. I already miss the newborn days of my babies when they were too tiny to even hold. So maybe that's why God gave me another chance with baby number three.
That's right. Number three. This column is about to get a lot more complicated now.