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| Every pregnancy is tough on a woman, but it only gets tougher the second and the third time around. / AP-Yonhap |
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Now well into my third trimester, there are still moments when I forget that I'm pregnant. People may wonder how that's even possible. After all, I have this bulging belly that's impossible not to notice.
It's called second pregnancy.
Every pregnancy is tough on a woman, but unfortunately, it only gets tougher the second and ― God, I can only imagine ― the third time around.
People who have no idea may ask why.
You've been through morning sickness, you know how those persistent cramps and fatigue feel, you already know all the other big and small emotional and physical discomforts associated with pregnancy, so shouldn't things be better the second time around?
Theoretically, it should. But there's that a monumental factor that cancels everything out ― the first child; in my case, the first two children.
As lovely and precious as they are to me, they also leave me no time to rest. No time.
Actually, I lied. They nap for about two hours a day, so I have that. But honestly, those two hours fly by like two minutes. A little cleaning up here and there, some light cooking and a short coffee break, and the next thing you know, Baby A is already wandering out to the living room in search of mommy.
As tough it is for me, it must be frustrating for my twin girls too.
They're probably wondering these days why on earth mom's tummy is getting so big, why she's not moving fast enough for them and why she's just not as fun as she used to be.
I'm constantly explaining to them that they're going to be getting another sister, but so far, they don't seem to have registered that part yet.
My heart hurts for my girls because I feel like I'm forced to force them to hurry up and grow up and become a big sister when they're still babies themselves. And so I try my best to give them every last bit of energy that I have, which sometimes makes me forget that I'm going to pop a baby out in a little more than two short months.
But when I do more than what my body can take, I end up with a bad case of cramps and put myself through another guilt trip for Baby C. Poor thing, she barely gets any attention from mom and dad.
So how can I find the perfect balance juggling between being 28-weeks pregnant and a mom of twin toddlers?
Unfortunately, I can't, experienced moms tell me. It's just not doable.
And that's why they say the first pregnancy is the most blessed and relaxing time for any mother. They advise me to accept my limits and put myself on survival mode until the newborn arrives.
Then what next? People tell me a lot of different scenarios based on their experience, but I've summed it up into two possibilities: Things can either get easier since I'll be a lot more mobile or all hell can break loose with three babies in the house.
Sometimes, parenting is way too extreme.
But I guess that's reality. Every child, parent and household is different, so there really can't be one answer to any given situation. All I can do is wait and see how my family of five will cope with our newest change.
I often imagine in my head that very moment when the doctor places the newborn on mommy's chest; a truly defining, priceless moment.
I didn't know what to expect during my first delivery, so I wasn't able to fully soak in those amazing few seconds. This time, I'm going to make sure I prepare myself for that brief but incredible first-time interaction.
The weird thing is that moment lives in my memory so vividly but everything else after that ― the nighttime feedings, constant throw-ups and all the other daily realities of having a newborn ― is all a vague blur.
It hasn't even been that long, but I'm having trouble recalling the details.
Not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but I think that's why moms are able to get pregnant again. They don't remember the difficult parts.
Of course there's no telling that Baby C will give me the same experience as my twins.
Till now, she's led mom to feel a whole new kind of pregnancy, so we'll see what our newest bundle of joy has for us once she enters the world.
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