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| The rise of "sharenting" is encouraging more parents to bring online life to their kids. Ellen, Ann and Lauren's official online footprint began six months ago through their own Facebook account. / Courtesy of Jane Han |
By Jane Han
Ellen, Ann and Lauren recently broadcasted their very first Facebook Live streaming episode. It was a live demo of the girls making kimchi with me.
They have no clue on earth what Facebook is, but they have close to a hundred photos and videos uploaded in their own account made under three of their combined names.
Yes, I am so completely guilty of "sharenting." Not going to deny it.
Honestly, I didn't know that what I was doing even had a name for it.
Sharenting ― that's what they call it these days. The word immediately hints at two words: sharing and parenting. It's sharing about parenting ― online.
It's posting grainy black and white ultrasound images on Instagram and Facebook. It's chronicling a toddler's entire potty-training process. It's detailing every waking moment of a child on social network.
I certainly haven't gone this far, but I am that kind of mom who likes to share photos of kids enjoying a messy ice cream indulging session, posing in cute little matching outfits and just doing other odd and innocent things.
While I figured most of my acquaintances wouldn't mind seeing images of my children, who currently make up most of my life, I did realize that some weren't so fond of them.
In an uncomfortable revelation, I found out that two friends have discontinued their online relationship with me, just after ranting that they are tired of seeing friends' kids bombarding their newsfeed.
I assumed that I wasn't the only guilty one, and it was in fact a collective effort of parent friends who have pushed people to this extreme end.
But that was enough for me to reflect upon myself. I didn't want to sever any more relationships, but I did want to continue sharing updates of my kids with family and friends.
So what do I do?
I went straight ahead and created a separate account for my girls. Sweet.
Search "Ellen Ann Lauren Chung" on Facebook and you'll find their page, which of course is only open and visible to those who I accept as friends.
That's right, moms in control.
Oh, how liberating it feels to freely binge post on days I just feel like it. And I know that the audience are people who are direct "friends" with my daughters, who voluntarily sent a friend request, demonstrating a clear intent that they want the full lowdown on my kids.
That was six months ago.
Now, the three girls have a close-knit network of just 38 friends. It's a lot smaller, but a lot better than my lengthy list of 300.
Learning about this entire sharenting phenomenon, I wondered why these sharenters, including myself, share so much about their kids on social media.
I don't know about other people, but I think I know why I do it.
Being a mom is hands down the most rewarding job in the world, but it is also lonely. Incredibly lonely.
I'm a stay-at-home mom to three kids, my husband has a busy and demanding job that keeps him at work the majority of a 24-hour day, and I have no family living close by. All of this makes me feel pretty alone in this long and tough parenting journey. So naturally, I find myself turning to my loved ones, online.
Just before I hit dinnertime, also known as the universal witching hour for kids, I would often post a quick photo and caption of the day's highlight event.
Within minutes, I'd get likes and comments from my sister in Korea and one of my best friends across the country. It's fascinating how small words of encouragement and compliments can serve as such a strong pick-me-up.
And this doesn't apply just to me.
There is actual research proving that new parents who post pictures of their child and receive feedback report greater satisfaction with parenthood.
Sounds good, but not good enough for hardcore privacy protectors who are cautious about violating their children's privacy rights.
I did give this a thought, but I don't believe I'm sharing anything that would embarrass my children down the road. Plus, the account isn't publicly open.
So how will my kids' social media footprint step forward?
I plan on journaling their daily experiences for as long as I can. It's doubling as a diary.
Ellen, Ann and Lauren are too young to know now, but I look forward to seeing how they will react to their "digital life" when they get older.
Hope they don't get mad at me.
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