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More singles enjoy free, independent lives
By Lee Kyung-min
An office worker surnamed Kim, 34, let out a sigh of relief after listening to her friend who ― yet again ― had sought out a divorce lawyer following a heated family dispute during the Chuseok holiday.
"I think I made the right decision to live alone every time I hear about my friends getting on the verge of divorce or complaining about how they wish they had never married," said Kim, who lives in a studio apartment in Chungeongno, Seodaemun, Seoul.
"For many of my friends, national holidays are among the many unavoidable, dreaded periods when they have to exhaust themselves to prove how they are living up to the expectations from their in-laws ― who, to me, sound like perpetually demanding enemies."
Kim is one of many Koreans who are willingly opting not to tie the knot for a freer, happier life, and feels satisfied.
According to a study released by a KB Financial Group institute in late September, seven out of 10 people living alone said they were satisfied with their current lives.
In a survey of 2,100 single households with occupants aged between 25 and 59 living in Seoul, Gyeonggi Province and the metropolitan area in May, 69.5 percent said they were satisfied.
Respondents said they valued their freedom and autonomous decision-making (39.5 percent), followed by uninterrupted free time (33.2 percent) and no family responsibilities (7.3 percent).
A total of 82.7 percent of women in their 20s said they were satisfied, followed by 78.5 percent in their 40s and 78.3 percent in their 30s.
The satisfaction rate dropped in men as they aged. A total of 71.2 percent of men in their 20s said they were satisfied, while 66.6 percent in their 30s said so. The rate further dropped to 51.4 percent among men in their 50s.
Kim, who broke up with her boyfriend of slightly over a year, said marriage was not something meant for people like her _ those who reject wasting time, money and energy on something that requires a lifetime devotion beyond the point of sacrificing oneself, and being taken for granted in the process.
"I'm not saying people should not get married. I absolutely respect those who choose to do so. I'm saying it's just not for me, and I do not ever want something I dread so much forced on me. Nobody would."
Having absolute control over personal free time and choice ― more importantly, the right not to be disturbed ― are "privileges" she will never give up.
"Now, I spend money on what I want, go on trips wherever and whenever I want, which I realize would be become things of the past if I get the responsibilities following a marriage, including increased household chores, childrearing and dealing with in-laws _ things that I cannot find a single positive thing about. I get enough stress from work. I don't want any more of it after I leave work. I want to rest at home, not engage in what my married friends call the 'beginning of the second job.'"
A life with more emphasis put on freedom is what a man truly wants but can't say out loud, said an office worker who is separated from his wife. The man in his 40s refused to be identified.
"I have no children, which means I am under less stress than my friends who have up to two high school or university students, when they need money the most. I hear some of them are not good at studying or they get in trouble at school. I can't imagine how I would handle that if mine were that way."
The man said he plays golf on weekends, goes to the gym and spend hours sleeping without anyone bothering him. "I need a large amount of rest to endure workplace stress. I like the way it is now."
The two are among many people who expressed satisfaction with living alone.
Singles prefer property
Single person households in Korea have an average of 123.62 million won ($110,000) in net assets and 18.84 million won in debt, according to the KB study.
Over 40 percent of their assets were in property _ the house they lived in, and they averaged having 25.88 million won in their bank accounts.
It showed single households' income was the highest for those in their 30s. While the amount was slightly lower for those in their 40s, it was significantly lower for those aged 50 or more.
This is in stark contrast to a steady and gradual increase of income of households with over two people.
However, it does not mean single households' incomes are expected to decrease in general over time, according to Kim Yei-goo, a senior researcher at the KB institute, who participated in a similar study in 2017.
"Households with over two people ― with breadwinners in their 40s and 50s ― typically have accumulated assets over the past few decades. But more time is needed to make a comparable analysis with the occupants of single households, which spiked only during the past few years."
No. of singles rising
The number of single households is expected to continue to rise.
According to Statistics Korea data released Sept. 28, out of 19.67 million households in Korea, 5.62 million were single-person, accounting for 28.6 percent of the total.
The increase of single-person households has more than doubled over the past two decades from 2.22 million in 2000.
"In the past, single households were typically associated with poverty and incompetence ― social outcasts of some sorts ― unlike nowadays where many financially capable people with stable, decently paying careers choose to live their lives to the fullest without the burden of what they deem an archaic traditional social norm," Kim of the KB said.
"Many respondents have a high sense of independence, self-efficacy and desire toward their autonomy-oriented pursuit of happiness. They are not individuals with insecurity issues, but rather a strong sense of the self, fully capable of determining what is and will be good for them."
The growing trend whereby many singles choose this lifestyle has more to do with their thorough pros-and-cons assessment of marriage rather than their financial status, he added.
"In the case of women, they do not wish to be subject to harsh treatment from their in-laws, compounded by childrearing and being burdened by household chores. For men, they may feel overwhelmed by a sense of responsibility as breadwinners, which will become ever more overpowering once they have children."
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