select * from tbl_news where devision_sn = 1357 and devision = 3 Dear Abby
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  Learning Times > 독해/번역 > Dear Abby
 
  Date : 2012-02-27
Mom uses illness to compete with girl for son’s attention

아들의 관심을 받기 위해, 병을 이용하여 여자친구와 경쟁하는 엄마
 
DEAR ABBY: I'm 18 and my boyfriend, "Jordan," is 17. We have been together a year and a half and rarely fight. There is only one problem in our relationship - his mother.
 
"Martha" has lupus and uses it to manipulate Jordan. When we plan dates, she'll tell him she feels sick and make him stay home to take care of her. As soon as the date is canceled, she's miraculously better. She complains that he doesn't spend enough time with her and lays guilt on him because she "could die any day," but says these things only when I'm around.
 
I don't believe that at 17 my boyfriend deserves the stress she puts on us, but I'm not sure what to do about it. Can you help me? ― STRESSED TEENS IN THE SOUTH
 
DEAR STRESSED TEENS: There is nothing you can do about it, so accept that as long as you're involved with Jordan, his mother is part of the package deal.
 
In another year your boyfriend will be legally an adult and able to decide if he wants to stay at home taking care of his mother, or leave to pursue his education or go to work. From your description, the family dynamics do not appear to be healthy. But if you're smart, you will not involve yourself in them. A girl who competes with her boyfriend's mother rarely wins that battle, so remember that.
 
**  **  **  **  **
 
DEAR ABBY: My ex-wife, from whom I was divorced for many years, died recently. Our middle-aged daughter, who grew up in her mother's care, was unhappy that I chose not to attend the funeral. (Actually, I never considered going.)
 
Not only would plane fare have been a financial burden, my ex and I hadn't communicated with each other for more than 30 years. She remarried and I didn't.
 
Was I wrong for not being there? I don't understand our daughter's feelings in the matter. ― MEANT NO DISRESPECT, MESA, ARIZ.
 
DEAR MEANT NO DISRESPECT: Funerals aren't for the deceased as much as they are for the living. Because you didn't mention whether you had maintained contact with your daughter since your divorce from her mother, I can only guess that she felt she needed your emotional support during that sad time, and that would explain her reaction to your absence.
  
* manipulate (교묘하게) 조종하다 (=control (others or oneself) or influence skillfully, usually to one's advantage)

* deceased 죽은 사람 (=a dead person)
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